When It Looks Like All Your Mates Have Left You Behind

This piece is dedicated to my good friend. I know she won’t want her name mentioned here but she will definitely be among the first people to read this. Thank you for the inspiration to write this.

At different times in life, we expect to move to the next stage; like after primary school, secondary school, then JAMB, then University, then get a job, then get married, have children, watch them grow, and live happily ever after with your family…hmmm!!!

Life would indeed have been so interesting without waiting for too long at any of the stages, it’d have been all trilling and bliss etc, but many a time, what we expect and how we want things to turn out do not always happen the way we expect. The worst part of the whole thing is that those we think/know we are better than always get past us along the way. And we wonder why our case was different. Some would even ask, “God, but why me?” This is a difficult situation to be believe me, I’ve been there not once and not twice. You’ll feel inadequate, worthless even suicidal!

First and foremost, you need to be sincere with yourself. Do you have the criteria to be in that level you are aspiring for? For example; do you qualify? Do you have the basic minimum requirements? Is your O’ levels complete? Did you pass the JAMB cut-off marks? Do you…? You must answer all these questions sincerely and truthfully within yourself. My pastor will always say “…even if you are deceiving others, at least don’t deceive yourself”. Don’t try to faith it at this level! I’m not talking about the discriminatory requirements like getting a “2.1” from school or being more than “26 years” etc. All the discriminating requirements can be surmounted trust me!

After you’ve answered the above questions, if the answers are more of “NOs”, you’ll need to work on yourself and make sure you get them. But if your answers are “YES”, then you need to move to the next step. What are you not doing right? There should be something you are not doing right. Why did you not pass? Find out, read more, practice more, get somebody to assess you. Is your CV properly written and arranged? Meet people to help or better still get online help. Why aren’t you getting the jobs? Is your business proposal properly written and convincing enough? Get a mentor, someone who has achieved the same thing you are pursuing. Etc. Check yourself, go out and meet people, ask questions, find out why. Don’t be lazy. “Good” things don’t happen to lazy people. There should be something you are not doing right.

If after the above; meeting basic minimum requirement and blocking any loopholes (if any), and things don’t change, take this words from my good friend, Zaynab Cynthia Momoh (facebook page, January 4, 2014 – she’s a cake expert/event planner and she’s based in Abuja -+2348037342250) “sometimes no matter how hard you try, or how many precautions you’ve taken, or what you do, things will simply not go your way. This is why trust and reliance on God are such a necessary part of life”(sic). You need hardwork, patience, more patience and God.

This is the life. Don't let challenges bring you down and at the end of time, let your story be "I came, I saw and I conquered".

Shalom!